PHAYLAN.'s Journal [entries|friends|calendar] PHAYLAN. [ website | Shitspace. ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[13 Feb 2006|10:26pm] verse the sky (10:19:09 PM): it was just a very jocelyn and matt conversation named her loverr (10:19:18 PM): replace me and die. 3 comments|post comment

[21 Jan 2006|03:50am] i'm a car accident. there's so much to look at, and many levels of what's happened to understand what there's to be seen. other drivers get so fascinated with my tangled pieces of metal and shattered glass that they nearly steer off the road too. tonight was really needed. brodown time for serious in three two four. brian mcswiss, shea, HUGE, JJ, and then kate, heather, james, ERIC and colle. after a noise violation we took over boston. smoking butts on the roof of st james was a pleasure. we wandered to get little stevies. eric found us in his truck and picked us up with a really random quick drive accompanied by some between the buried and me. as mcsweens and i reminisced of the 1088 aparment, we saw, of all people, peach chilling outside, smoking a butt. after a huge reunion, we ate pizza, went to 1088, ran into a lenzi and a hillary and a trevor. we then meandered home. i love being here when i'm with my friends. my best friends make this school bearable. things at home are a mess, things with my room mate are just as rotten. i think too much and sleep too little. i want the answers written in front of me. i want my name already out there, but instead, i'm still working in my own circles. i need to break out by may, or i'm just another nobody. 9 comments|post comment

[20 Jan 2006|11:35am] apparently i'm back to being ten years old, unable to sleep with new beds and unfamiliar ceilings. 3 comments|post comment

[16 Jan 2006|01:11am] dear winter break, you will be missed. ( December & January. ) 18 comments|post comment

[09 Jan 2006|04:27am] ALSO. Listen to the opening 40 seconds of He Is Legend's "Hip Hop Anonymous." Tonight I saw thirty or so trucks pulled over a tiny rest stop parking lot. And I decided that they start a bonfire, and this song starts playing, as they all get out of their trucks and clap / dance. Next time I see this, I'm pulling over and playing it, seeing if they'll join in with me. Or just have the shit kicked out of me / raped into me. 6 comments|post comment

[09 Jan 2006|03:45am] the best drive home. a raspberry coffee, cigarettes, and cookies. i drove 55 the whole length of 95N due to lacking in the gas department. and I listened to my new obsession the whole drive. it was peaceful, and allowed me to reflect. i know there's alot more jungle ahead of me. and i'll be right back in it. but for that drive home, i found a clearing, and took a breath. it was more than pleasant. post comment

[07 Jan 2006|02:04am] it's charles xavier. i'm in a fur coat dancing around someone's kitchen with a martini glass of jager while listening to mozart. i'm SHITFACED. ♥ 1 comment|post comment

[05 Jan 2006|04:09pm] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | ryan adams - wonderwall ] the snow began to fall around me. i still sat there, alone, perched on my car's roof, smoking a cigarette against the violet sky reflecting off the lake, along with dozens of white lights. i did this for four hours last night, with soundtrack accompaniment provided from my new old ipod. my own red's all over me. keep me away from your linens. here's to a new year. i won't forget the old.

[04 Jan 2006|09:14pm] I'm too much of a catalyst for my own good. 4 comments|post comment

[31 Dec 2005|02:46am] friends 5 comments|post comment

[24 Dec 2005|01:14pm] [ mood | cheerful ] I've just arrived home from driving 500 miles total to see a girl. & I couldn't be happier I did. best twenty four i ever spent; in a car, in her arms, & at a party. candy cane lollipops are bomb. thank you toothless toll booth lady. squall // cloud factor pwnt maine. 12 comments|post comment

[14 Dec 2005|12:30am] the morning during the summer after providence where i couldn't sleep and brian dropped me off at 6am. no one was home. i stepped out barefoot into my backyard and just admired life. i wish i could see that morning again. i don't take pictures. i want to start. & have a photo journal. i always say this. the illustrations in my head are beginning to fade. 5 comments|post comment

[15 Nov 2005|02:40am] Sean Reno & I stay up all night and talk on AIM. Then we post AFI lyrics in our ELJAYs to reflect on our feelings. I cannot stay here, I cannot leave Just like all I loved, I'm make believe Imagined heart, I disappear Seems... no one will appear here and make me real There are no flowers, no, not this time There will be no angels gracing the lines, just these stark words I find I'd show a smile but I'm too weak I'd share with you, could I only speak, just how much this hurts me 6 comments|post comment

[13 Nov 2005|11:01pm] Get over myself. Get over hating being alone. I look for my contentedness in all the wrong places. Whether or not I have someone to share things with shouldn't be an everyday priority or thought. 16 comments|post comment

[31 Oct 2005|09:45am] so i put my foot through a window. then got stuck. then had to punch through the rest of the window to retrieve my bloody shoe. having cuts all over your hands and feet isn't fun. the fact that they might need stitches is more fun. 6 comments|post comment

[23 Oct 2005|12:56pm] scene missing. exit stage left. fade to black. 7 comments|post comment

locked. [25 Sep 2005|08:23am] 12 comments|post comment

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